Some may know and some don't I did modelwork for a long time. Since 2013 I quit with it but I did not really explained why.
I started model work because I feeled insecure I did not feel pretty or beautiful. When I did one shoot I've got so much compliments that I've kept going.
After a while I started to enjoy modelling, but I still feel insecure.
I work fulltime and when I was free I did photoshoots. Just for fun. But it was to much. 38hours work and after that some photoshoots. I could not see my friends a lot and that's not what I want!
Also not every shoot I get paid for it. So I spend a lot of money for traveling and for someone who does not have that a lot of money is not that great. And the clothes... Damn a lot of times I could not do a shoot of to little clothing outfits! I was glad that I worked a couple of times with other models so I could borrow theirs. But that's not all the time. I was not a fashionmodel so it was hard to find a stylist for moi.
Don't get me wrong I had a fun time shooting with lot of photographers worked with such a nice make up artists or other models but this modelling world it's not my thing.
Even when I had publications for: FHM, Vriendin, playing a little part in the serie Walhalla with Johnny de Mol! 2years in a row I was one of the 500 most beautifull woman in Netherlands. I still feel insecure so I've decided that 2013 would be my last year of modelling! I wanted to quit more early but everytime I thought it would get better. But it just don't.
How many times that I've heard that I'm to small (yes I know that), to fat (you've read that right) or to musceled (I love to work out instead of starving myself). It's not feeling right. I see other beautifull models and the only thing I think of is why? What do they've got what I don't have? Are they really that skinny? And why must everybody have a size 0? It's making me angry!
Even that one assignement that they've told me I've must loose 10kilo's! Are they sick in their mind? No wonder many girls have an eating dissorder!
And really with all the respect I had fun shooting but after all those years of trying I feel more unhappy then happy in that world. It's just not my kind of thing!
It's an interesting world and I really have met a lot of nice people! I want to thank you for that!
Now I will focus on my sweet hubby and my precious little girl. They are so important for me! I don't want to shoot any more it's just not feel right for me.
I focus on my blog. Working out, eat healthy, my lovely dogs and cats, friends and family!
I really don't care if people say I'm to fat, to musceled, to small or what ever. I am me and the only one person that must think I'm beautifull is my hubby.
If you still want to follow my world my life... Add my facebookpage : fitmomslife1988
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And for the others who model! Be yourself, be happy and enjoy! Do it because you love it!
